REMEMBER NOVEMBER 8, 2016

October 19, 2017

November 8, 2017 will mark a dark day in United States history.  If you have to think for a minute about that date, that is part and parcel of the problem.  We are apt to forget our tragedies as new ones emerge. 

On November 8, 2016, a tragedy befell the United States of America.  Many of us have forgotten the empty and hopeless feeling that night and disbelief and sadness on the following day.  We have been inundated with tragedies, almost too numerous to count including natural weather disasters as well as threat of nuclear war and murders that are not natural.  

I am not a good organizer.  Committees are difficult to deal with.  Individuals may, however, make a difference.  An example shown by a well known person, Colin Kaepernick, has grown in scope and now a national discussion about demonstrations to show support or rejection of his idea, his singular demonstration is growing.  A terrible practice demeaning to women has driven a powerful man from power thanks to one person speaking out.

This idea may take hold.  If you agree, please tell at least two sympathetic friends and ask them to tell their friends, and so on.  Exponential agreement with this simple plan may add to exposing the reality that the current administration of the United States is not representative of American Ideals. 

I propose that at noon on Wednesday, November 8, 2017 that every conscientious person, not only in the United States, but around the world, stop for one or two minutes and kneel in memory of democracy as we knew it. Mourn the loss of reason. 

Be still.. 

Wear black. An armband or a shroud.  

Wear black and stop to mourn.  

Mourn the deaths and destruction in Las Vegas and Houston and Puerto Rico and the sadness around the world and demonstrate that as powerless as each of us as individuals may feel, as a community we may simply show our sadness and kneel together in Unity.  

 Noon.

 November 8, 2017.  

Stop and be still.   

Wear Black.

ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN

October 17, 2017

An assault is carried out by a threat of bodily harm coupled with an apparent, present ability to cause the harm. It is both a crime and a tort and, therefore, may result in either criminal or civil liability. 

Harassment is governed by state laws, which vary by state, but is generally defined as a course of conduct which annoys, threatens, intimidates, alarms, or puts a person in fear of their safety.

Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient.

/// 

Of course, if you see it on the internet, it must be true.  And, of course, defining anything in these days of weirdness is tricky.

I'm concerned with the flagrant use of these words in the current issue of The Casting Couch, Harvey Weinstein and anyone who may have done anything to seem to threaten or  piss another person off.   We are under the influence of Victorian and Puritanical guidelines that make the use of the words 'sex' or 'sexual' still highly charged words.  We have shame and embarrassment as the foundation of all things 'sexual.'  We giggle at the use of some words. It used to be that someone would put an ad in the paper and in big letters headline announce:  
SEX!  and now that I have your attention, I can do your yard work or fix your roof.

I've imagined that this whole business of 'sexual assault and sexual harassment' must be viewed on a graph that runs horizontally from zero to ten and also vertically from zero to ten with a five in the middle.  Thus a forced rape would be a horizontal ten (the worst) and a vertical ten (also the worst).  Then, we go to statutory rape where, there may be mutual consent, but the law is involved with the age of the participants.  Mutual consent for say, a seventeen year old boy and an eighteen year old girl (the boy's birthday a few days away?) would be a statutory crime for the girl.  On this imaginary scale, since the boy and the girl are virtually the same age, would be a zero on the horizontal scale and zero on the vertical scale.   These are guidelines for the physical act of sexual intercourse.  In some states, the age of consent would be lower.  But, you get the idea. 

Sexual Harassment is a little trickier.  On the same scales vertical and horizontal, if someone stood in another person's face and shouted obscenities, that would be harassment (and an assault!) a ten on the horizontal scale and probably a ten on the vertical scale for the close proximity of being face to face. Shouting obscenities on the phone would reduce the threat to less on both scales.    Flipping the bird to a motorist who cut you off in traffic might initially be a one and a one, but if it goes into 'road rage' then, the scales escalate. 

This is where communication needs to go.  To get these definitions into an arena where there's an agreement among all parties as to what is going on. We can agree that a physical assault is wrong. Period.  And, to stand and curse in someone's face is the pinnacle of what harassment would be on this imaginary horizontal and vertical scale. In the traffic example, if it's a quick exchange and flipping the bird, then, we catch our breath and it's over. 

In a lesser situation perception of harassment might be felt by one person and never the intention of the other.  Thus, our definitions become almost like our perceptions of what art is: unique to the individual.   Being considerate and listening is a quality that many people now lack.  Each of us, now with the introduction of #Metoo, must find out first what harassment in general might be.  Unwelcome touching is a little easier to define with the 'touchee' declaring, "Don't touch me!" Or.. "Please, do not touch?"  The 'toucher' then is on notice.  

But, as we mature from childhood to some semblance of being adults, the signals and behavior change.  Playing tag and teasing and physical relating to each other change.  Signals change.  Maturity is fluid. Even for those who may have reached the physical age of maturity may be stuck in some adolescent groove where the 'rules' are unclear and what's appropriate or not appropriate may be fluid, too. 

Some folks are just 'touchers.'  They express themselves with strokes or pats or other exhibitions of familiarity.  Hugs are a given for some folks who can't contain themselves.  Are they sexual advances or just physical expressions of friendliness? In France, friends kiss cheeks on most everyone in a polite social situation. 

I have stated that we are edging toward if not already in the midst of a 'mob mentality' with every single person who has posted in social media #Metoo, defining their own version of being SEXUALLY HARASSED OR ASSAULTED. It may range from the low end of my imaginary scale to the worst, but this growing mob of people declaring their situation mostly makes no distinction.  

Of course, No means NO!  However, in many social situations, there may be alcohol or drugs involved.. or just misread signals that lead to trouble.   I am reminded of a little poem that a roommate of mine taught me:

I'll drink to the girls who do

And, I'll drink to the girls that don't,

But, I won't drink to a girl who says she will

And, later says she won't.  

As social media hijacks our lives and the bandwagon of #Metoo escalates, I just hope that a frenzy that might be parallel to the Salem Witch Trials does not sweep up so many miscreants that we have no idea who is really guilty and who is a hapless dummy who just thought that telling someone they were attractive was okay. 

This then turns on individual responsibility.  If someone is provoked or even enticed, where on the scale does a response wind up?  I've seen a woman in a social situation, make eye contact with a man and when he approached, she just turned her shoulder and blew him off.   I've heard stories of wanna be actresses sneaking into A list parties and flirting with A list participants for what ever reason.. a role in a film or just to have an adventure.  Are they 'asking for it?' Probably, not, but with flirting and alcohol and such, the opportunity for disaster may be brewing.

The whole business of power and the dozens of stories and accusations that are bubbling to the surface right this minute and the lawsuits and maybe even criminal actions to follow turn, to me, on the responsibility of each participant.. willing and unwilling.  We all must take responsibility for our adult decisions. 

Then there's the story of the car parked up in Lover's Lane late at night and the cop knocking on the window. The boy is in the front seat reading and the girl is in the back seat knitting.   The boy rolls down the window and the cop asks, "Is she eighteen? (assuming that the boy is over eighteen!).  The boy looks at his watch and says, "She will be in about ten minutes!"

There is nothing funny about sexual abuse. And, sexual harassment is a very loose term, it seems to me.  As legislation in France is being advanced to make it a criminal offense for a man to cat call or tease a woman on the street, it seems to me that we are headed into a very murky and slippery slope where our social communication may suffer. 

No question that powerful men who threaten women and force themselves on them either physically or psychically should be brought to bear.  It's about male domination, mostly, but if vice versa were true, then we need to examine that, too.  The stories now emerging are, if not horrific, really uncomfortably distasteful.  I still wonder about the responsibility of an adult woman who agrees to meet with a powerful man in an 'intimate' situation like a hotel room.. or in an office where the staff disappears.  As adults, we must be responsible for ourselves, but the allure of fame or money or work need to be examined and bringing the powerful to bear and  even brought to justice is long over due. 

michaelsheehan

October 17, 2017

HOT HOT HOT BUTTON ISSUES

I  won't apologize for thinking that in this hew and cry about Harvey Weinstein's abysmal behavior, our society may be creating a mob mentality. This situation must be carefully examined.   

According to a woman I don't think I've met, Gillian Bagwell, I'm a moron for asking a simple question.  My question is whether or not women are at all responsible for  their involvement in what is being exposed today that includes the expulsion of Weinstein from the AMPAS (The Academy)?  Other men, also accused like Bill Cosby and Roman Polanski, both excoriated ..  have not been expelled. Cosby is in court and Polanski is in exile.  The President of the United States has been equally accused and may have bought off accusers (as Weinstein reportedly has done) and POTUS is still in office.  Are women complicit in some way? Where does responsibility lie?

In a totally unrelated incident,  I was recently  brought to bear by a friend for saying that I thought that a parent who decided not to answer her phone from an unknown number was responsible in part for a terrible accident: the death of her thirteen year old son.  I was attacked because the man who was upset has had the terrible and unthinkable loss of a child which colors his point of view.  Touching the nerves of now possibly hundreds of woman in Hollywood with the Weinstein issue is like making a formerly docile pet attack by stepping on its foot.  A bad analogy..but when we are hurting, to have the injury rewounded, it's just too much. 

On Facebook I told of a mentally disturbed woman who attacked me for just asking if we all should be responsible for our own actions.  I have to consider the source and not be offended because she is obviously in diminished capacity.  

In fact, all of our entire society is in diminished capacity right now.  People of good conscience are under threat of war and the president of the United States makes silly comments and behaves like an errant eighth grader: name calling and such to the embarrassment of anyone with an IQ over 99.  It is overwhelming.. and very sad.

All I really want to know is how a man like Weinstein, in a town with a gossip mill that runs 24/7 is now brought to bear for behavior that has gone on for years?  His reputation as a hard nosed producer is widely known.   Are we so naive as to think that the women who are now coming forward were so afraid of ruining careers and such that they did not, at least, speak to friends or relatives?  How sick is our Hollywood society? Lizzie Maxwell has quoted another actress in her book about Hollywood, Little Fish in a Big Pond: A Support Guide for Actors, (not naming names) saying that she scooped the Weinstein story years ago!

I have anecdotal evidence from a friend that Weinstein is not the only person in power who has taken advantage of his position of power.  The Casting Couch has been around for years and years. Not a nice thing, but still. It is true.

An actor I know insisted that any actress that was going to work with him was invited to be intimate.  Is this right or wrong? Wrong, of course. But, was the job so important that acceding to an intimate encounter was forced? 

It is NOT my intention to be flippant about this issue. I just want to point out that from time in memorial, men have been called  upon to pursue women.. the old joke is that 'he chased her until she caught him.'   In fact, in my experience, women have the power to attract and to reject advances.  If Mr. Weinstein drugged someone as has been the contention of the Cosby victims, then, how did those women get into such a bad predicament in the first place?  Choices.

I asked about the parents of the seventeen year old girl who met with Weinstein in a hotel room.  Whose responsibility was that?  

Tippi Hedren's story of being approached by Hitchcock was a bit amusing. She just walked out the door and slammed it, she says.  A dear friend of mine had dinner with the director of a film she was in.  How far it went, I don't know, but she was the type of person who could speak her mind and would never have been taken advantage of. Period. 

Responsibility is the key here.  If someone physically took advantage and forced him/her self on an unwilling person, that's rape.  File charges.  Have a trial!  We have a judicial system: criminal and civil.

But, now we get into a gray area.. The business of an 'adult' woman teacher having an affair with a seventeen year old boy may be an issue in the eyes of the law, but I'm guessing that to the boy, it was not so much being taken advantage of, as it was an adventure.  Mutual consent now rears its hoary head, along with a few glasses of champagne and a party atmosphere regardless of age. 

The deranged woman who shouted at me that she could walk around in a bikini and it would be wrong to touch her is certainly correct.  But, in this particular woman's case, she was unattractive on the inside to start with and the idea of her in a bikini is, to me repulsive.. But, what is the responsibility for women who stroll the red carpet in revealing fashions or a flirt who at first says she will and then says she won't?  Of course, No means NO! However, under the influence of drugs or alcohol or passion, when things get out of control, there must be mutual responsibility.. It seems to me.  

In jest, I suggested that women now take up the burka.  That gives men nothing to make a comment about and women can wear whatever they like out of sight.  The reason that men such as the president behave so badly is because they think they can.  "Grab a pussy" language is the essence of that guy's deep philosophy.  With an honest discussion about responsibility after the heat of this current issue dies down a bit, we may then find ways for both men and women to communicate with out name calling.   

And, I wonder if it is sexual abuse or harassment for a man to be attracted to a woman and say so? Hello..  I find you attractive.  Is that sexual harassment?  I recently met a woman whose behavior seemed to be welcoming. It was nice until we actually met one on one. That was that, but the signals that I perceived at first were positive.  The end was that I knew it was a bad idea and so did she.

If we educate our selves and engage in civil discourse, then the Gillian Bagwells of our society might not be calling folks like me a moron and the discussion may lead to a better understanding of this issue.  

Fact is, I PROBABLY AM a moron for thinking that this diatribe will make a bit of difference, but in the end, I consider myself, if not a feminist, at least a champion of women and human rights . ... all humans' rights.   Let's get communication straight before the emotional fury gets more out of hand.

michael sheehan

October 15, 2017

LIFE GOES ON. SO LONG BUD FORD JR

UPDATE. There will be a memorial gathering for Bud on October 21 2017 2pm at Soda Springs Park.  I imagine that there will be a lot of folks attending. As it should be.  If you attend, please extend my love to Donna, Erin and Bud III.

I sometimes use the term, 'the inevitable' .. especially when speaking over the years with my good friend, Ken Rugg.  I would not have ever met Bud Ford, Jr. if it was not for my friendship with Rugg.  The serendipity of life winds its way all over the place in this story. To eulogize Bud, I have to mention Rugg and CapriTaurus and dulcimers and the Renaissance Faire and Greeley, Colorado and how we don't have to like it when friends die.  But.  It is inevitable.

Rugg pretty much saved my bacon almost fifty years ago.  Had we not gotten together to make theatre in Long Beach, I'd not have really known him, lived in Long Beach and had that influence, but I'd never have met his brothers and taken up the mountain dulcimer, wound up at the Renaissance Faire and so much good stuff that it won't fit here.  Meeting the Ford family would never have happened.  

There's so much story and this is not about that. This is about later.  Twelve years ago I dropped into The Dulcimer Shop in Manitou to see The Fords and magic was brewing.  It was the first time that we had met in person. The Mountain Music Festival was in bloom. Robert and Janette Force were in attendance, along with my old friend, Michael Johnson.  That's a story all on its own. 

Bud III, Donna, Bud II and Erin. Christmas Window by David  Gonzales

                                                           Photo by Robert Force

This writing is to eulogize a guy who was steeped in his community. Steeped in love and steeped in music.  The story of how Bud and his wife, the beautiful Donna, and their kids: Bud III and elfin Erin.. made a little storefront in Manitou Springs, Colorado a landmark is part of it. How their Mountain Music Festival was an annual tradition.  How the world of mountain dulcimers and acoustic music was enhanced by their efforts.    

They did a lot.  

Bud helped me make a special art project to commemorate Totem Teddy, the mascot Alaskan Bear Totem on the Greeley campus of what is now the University of Northern Colorado.  

Bear photo by Lloyd Norton

The guy was a whirlwind of helping.  His generosity is something that our little world will always appreciate. 

So.  Bud's gone.  The connection that I feel to Manitou,  including my childhood, and Donna and those pesky kids: Bud III and Erin, is one that I treasure. The Fords are deeply rooted in Manitou Springs, so I am sure that there will be a celebration of life to remember and tell stories. It's the stories that sustain us through the tears and our loss.  

The photo above is at the suggestion of Janette Force: a little altar.   She's Robert Force's sweet love. Robert is an icon in the world of mountain dulcimer.  I met them long ago, going back to that Rugg connection that I mentioned.  Janette is wonderful. Really.  

Lighting a candle is a ritual that we should all consider.  It's a personal statement that affects us individually.  It wasn't until I did Janette's ritual that the gravity of Bud's passing sank in. Thank you, Janette.

Life goes on.  We must find a way to love one another.  

It is really important.

Love to the Fords.. and to you, my reader, too. 

michaelsheehan 

October 8, 2017

THE HORRORS OF WAR

October 3, 2017

It's impossible to hide from the ever expanding story of the massacre in Las Vegas on Sunday night.  I've asked on Facebook that news outlets and individuals refrain from using the murderer's name, so as to not elevate him to the status of other killers whose names become part of the American lexicon.  I've gotten blowback from some folks who just don't understand that not using his name is not denying the event or not investigating the ever evolving story.  We should know all that we can know, of course.

As I don't use the name of the president because I want to at least disrespect him, this is a similar act of omission.  It's personal.  This business of not using the name of the president has cost me a very dear friend and it's ironic because she and I share so much in common.  A simple thing grew out of control and though I feel awful about it, it's clear that she feels that she is the one offended, when I felt offended initially.  All this cloak and dagger may winnow out in time, but right now I miss the good communication that I thought we had. She is a smart and beautiful person. I miss the connection.

These are delicate times.  I harp on the idea of the  ATFE taking aim at bullets to make them, at least, trackable or tax them in such a way so as to limit them.  If making your own liquor or selling tobacco that is not licensed is a crime, so should the sale of ammunition be somehow monitored. I saw a cute meme on Facebook of bullets packaged like Sudafed.  If you buy over a certain amount of Sudafed, you are tracked or otherwise limited, but you may buy all the ammo you want and no one bats an eye.

I have just now remembered the first name of a faculty member who was generous to me when I was in college at what is now UNC in Greeley.  John Mariani!! He was a well respected artist and instructor whose drawing class I took for one quarter. I was not attuned to drawing, but he took to me and helped.  There is a physical feeling of satisfaction that goes with having a memory like this bubble up.  Trying to remember took me to a classmate of his daughter, Kathy, and a nice reunion on the phone with Carolyn McQueen ensued.  What a pleasure.

Hopefully, as one tragedy tumbles into another, we, as a nation or a world, will remember that the world now is totally connected and it's time to stop the hassle and make this One World.  Of course, the ego trips of world leaders make this difficult, but even Senator John McCain reminds us that the House and the Senate do not work for the president.  They are not his lackeys. Nor are the citizens of the USA under the thumb of this man who seems to care only for himself.  We stopped the war in Vietnam, though it took a while.  Now is the time to stop the embarrassment that is heaped on the United States daily and I think that silent vigils may be a beginning.   Even in ones and twos.. Just sitting for peace. 

We need some good news. Anyone? 

michaelsheehan

ten three seventeen.